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. Sparking Outrage since 2000 (with a few lost years in between)

Saturday, August 28, 2010


Wigan Athletic were today deducted 3 points from the Premier League following the number of fans they took to White Hart Lane. The BBC, Brian Reade and fans of other massive clubs who deserve Premier League status such as Leeds, Sheffield Wednesday and Southampton were outraged that less than 100 made the long expensive trek down to London.

"Its an absolute disgrace" said Scouse cunt Brian Reade. "It's well know that League positions have long been decided on size of crowds. Wigan Athletic are clearly flaunting this rule"

Tottenham fans were just as irate. "They bring down a handful of fans and even have the cheek to outsing us through the entire match."

The Premier League agreed with the sentiments handed out to the relatively new football league club that has increased its average gate by more than 1000% in the last 15 years.

"We cannot have teams moving up the Premier League table if they don't have the fan numbers to back it up. It is simply unacceptable. We are considering changing the entire football league structure around and awarding points for how many fans turn up rather than the silly notion of who scores most goals.
Wimbledon were the last team to try and pull a stunt like Wigan are now and that was something they lived to regret. Our laws clearly state that any team attempting to circumvent Premier Leagues rules by going under the EPL fan threshold will have their entire football league histories wiped from the record books, their name scraped off any trophies they may have won and their club closed down and replaced by a new town with loads of roundabouts. If Wigan Athletic aren't careful we will be replacing them with Skelmersdale Tics"

Graeme Jones said "If one more person mentions crowd size I'll fucking nut them"

1 comment:

  1. Thats so cool & its even funny, trouble is it could well become reality in the greedleague.

    Many a true word .....